Talking with children about death is never an easy or enjoyable task, but it must be done to give them the support they need. This is especially true around the holidays, when children will likely be spending more time with extended family and might be having a difficult time missing certain important figures in their lives during the usual holiday traditions.
As humans, we often tend to avoid talking about upsetting topics. Children will quickly pick up on our emotions by watching our body language, facial expressions and hesitations. If they see us having a hard time talking about our emotions and our loss, this will cause them more stress.
This is why it’s so important to be open in discussing loss and grief with children and let them know it’s okay to feel however they feel. It’s also important to have an understanding of how children think of death at various stages of development:
Preschool children: Young children see death as temporary and impersonal. They do not yet understand that death is permanent, and may not have a particularly emotional reaction to a loss. This is completely normal and appropriate for their age level.
Children five to nine: From ages five to nine, children begin to see that death is final and all things die. However, they do not relate to the idea personally. They might start to associate certain images with death, and may have nightmares about those images.
Age 10 through adolescence: At this point, children begin to fully grasp death as irreversible, and the idea that they will also someday die.
It is common for young children to have very different emotions about death and ways of processing their grief. The same child who is devastated by the death of a pet may seem untroubled by the death of a grandparent.
When discussing death with young children, it is important to use simple terms. “You won’t be able to see them again.” “They do not eat, feel, talk or breathe.” Be nonjudgmental in your conversations, and listen to and observe their reactions.
You may need to have multiple conversations about the subject. Children learn through repetition. Sometimes they might ask more questions, other times they might remain silent—whatever their reaction, it is important you check in regularly to revisit the subject and monitor how they are doing.
Children may have a difficult time understanding other people’s emotions. A child might ask why someone is crying. It is important to answer them directly: “Mommy is crying because she is sad Grandpa died. She misses him very much. It is okay to feel sad when someone we love dies.”
Avoid religious references, especially if the child has not had religion as a significant part of their life. They will not understand phrases such as, “Grandpa is with God and the angels,” or “Grandpa is in heaven.” If the child does have a level of familiarity with religion, it is important not to skirt around the emotional aspect of death for those who are left behind.
With the holiday season approaching, it’s important to remember kids may be feeling recent losses even more acutely. For more tips on supporting grieving children, contact the experts at Kids Kingdom Early Learning Center.
Holidays can be expensive. Between gifts for your family and other loved ones, decorations, parties and school breaks, you probably find yourself spending a lot more money than the other 11 months of the year. How do you keep the kids entertained without blowing your budget? The answer is easy: kids holiday crafts are inexpensive and fun, and will help make memories that last for decades to come.
Here are some of our favorite fun holiday activities that won’t break the bank:
Pinecone bird feeders: Pinecone bird feeders are cheap and easy to make. Hunt for pinecones in your yard or at a local park. Coat them in peanut butter, roll them in birdseed and hang them from branches with twine. Have your kids draw pictures of the birds that visit.
Holiday movie night: Movie nights are even more fun by the glow of holiday lights. Pick your favorite holiday movies, pop some popcorn and settle in for a family movie marathon.
Garlands and paper chains: Speaking of popcorn, making popcorn and cranberry garlands or paper chains is a fun way to keep your kids entertained—and let them help decorate.
Snowman and snow angel competitions: There’s nothing like a little friendly competition to inspire creativity. If it snows, have the whole family compete to see who can make the funniest snowman or the most snow angels in a five-minute period.
Paper snowflakes: Even adults have fun creating paper snowflakes, which can be hung from your tree, in the windows or even from the ceiling.
Write letters to relatives and troops overseas: Holidays can be lonely. Have your kids write letters to their elderly relatives or troops overseas to spread some cheer to others.
Donate toys and clothes to shelters: The spirit of the season centers around giving. Donate old toys and clothes to shelters to teach your kids to give back to the community. Empathy is a great quality to develop.
Cookie baking night: Gingerbread men, classic chocolate chip, peanut butter blossoms and more—go on a baking marathon, and share the sweet results with friends, family or the senior center.
Write letters to Santa: If your family believes in Santa, make an event out of writing him a letter or two.
Borrow holiday books from the library: Take advantage of your local library, and borrow themed picture books to read together. If you’re not sure where to start, your children’s librarian will be more than happy to help with suggestions.
Decorate the tree: Of course, decorating the tree is an event in and of itself. You can even use the garlands and snowflakes your kids created to adorn the tree.
The best part about these kids holiday crafts and fun holiday activities is that many of them are completely free. (After all, the best things in life usually are.) Try one or try them all, and you’re guaranteed to enjoy this season together.
Looking for a preschool for your child? Reach out to Kids Kingdom Early Learning Center to learn more about our classes and the fun holiday activities and crafts our students participate in.
It’s common knowledge that responsible kids are healthier, happier kids. It’s never too early to teach toddlers how to live responsibly—but how should you reinforce positive behaviors for toddlers so that they can take responsibility for their choices and their impact on the world?
Read on to discover the four most helpful tips that allow you to do just that.
Build their self-esteem
Studies show that children with high self-esteem tend to value responsibility much more than children who are lacking in self-confidence. They’re better at seeing goals through to get what they want; acknowledging and learning from mistakes; trying new things and taking risks; asking for help whenever necessary and many other key life skills.
Building self-esteem in children takes time, but it can be done. Regularly provide positive reinforcement both verbally and physically. Offer verbal praise, hugs and high fives. Whenever possible, reward good behavior with a special activity or treat to send a positive message that your child is doing the right thing, instilling within them a greater sense of self-worth.
Teach them to clean up after themselves
It’s crucial to raise your child with the expectation that they are responsible for cleaning up their own messes. Be firm, but be cheerful and kind at the same time (remember the old adage that you shouldn’t worry about spilled milk). There are two great strategies for promoting positive behaviors for toddlers: 1) picking up together, i.e., making sure everything has a home, including toys, clothes, shoes, etc.; 2) making picking up a game by putting on some music or by turning cleaning into a competition. Be consistent, and cleaning up will become second nature to your kids.
Provide structure and routine
Routines are crucial for the development and well-being of kids. From bathing routines to setting standard bedtimes and getting ready in the morning, you can offer your child repeated opportunities to manage themselves. It helps your little ones understand what they can expect as well as what is expected of them, giving them a sense of comfort, safety and some measures of independence at the same time.
Repair rather than punish
A toddler needs to be responsible not only in terms of chores and other daily tasks but also in terms of their interactions with others. When conflicts arise between your toddler and a sibling, parent or friend, don’t force them to apologize—they won’t mean it, and it won’t help the matter. Teach your toddler that their treatment of others has consequences and that they’re responsible for repairing relationships when conflicts occur. That way, they’ll choose to make amends, which makes everyone feel good, without you having to rely on punishment that usually leads to resentment.
Teaching toddlers how to live responsibly is a skill that needs to be reinforced and nurtured from an early age. It always helps to surround your child with positive role models who foster responsible behaviors, like the folks at Kids Kingdom Early Learning Center. By working together as a team, you can help your little ones learn the life skills they need to grow into healthy, happy and productive adults.
One of the first words your child will learn to say is “no.” It is a very useful word for them to know—you no longer have to guess if they want more food or a drink or a hug—but, boy oh boy, do toddlers enjoy saying “no.” They seem to wake up each day saying it and then go to sleep murmuring it to themselves.
Rest assured that you’re not alone in this developmental stage. Read on if you’re asking yourself, “Why do two-year-olds say ‘no’?”
The toddler no phase
Experts say that this stage is typically between 18 and 36 months old. It’s often a time of extremes as the child begins to have some additional autonomy. One minute they may be affectionate, while the next minute they’re screaming “NO!” seemingly without reason.
And they love the power of the word. They’ll use it to get your attention. They’ll use it when they legitimately aren’t interested in something. They’ll use it for fun. They’re starting to be more assertive over their environment—that sometimes includes rejecting everything around them whether it makes sense or not.
How to deal with this stage
Luckily, you do have some tools at your disposal for getting through this trying time. (There is logic behind the old cliché of the “terrible twos.”)
Here are some things to try out with your child:
Establishing routines is particularly important at this age. When there are expectations, your child will have a better idea of how the day is going to go. They will feel empowered without feeling the need to say “no” every fifteen seconds.
Limiting the number of power struggles is also helpful. They’re going to happen, but ask yourself ahead of time, “Is this the hill I want to die on?” “Is this important, or am I arbitrarily setting a boundary?” Be selective when you need to be firm.
Try to make things fun whenever possible. Let’s say you want your child to pick up their toys. Instead of drawing a line in the sand (i.e., “You have to help, or you won’t get a snack”), make the task fun. Give the child a pair of kitchen tongs, and see how many toys they can drop in the box. Granted, it won’t be the most efficient work, but you are asking a two-year-old to do it!
Validate your child’s feelings. Let’s say you have to take your child to day care, but they want to go to the playground. You can say to the child, “I know you want to go to the playground, but right now we have to go to school.” Of course, this may still end up in a temper tantrum, but, in the long run, it will help establish a better relationship with your child.
Are you looking for quality childcare? At Kids Kingdom Early Learning Center, our involvement with your child doesn’t end with traditional schooling and classroom teaching. We provide children from newborn to 9 years old with a safe environment to relax, play and learn when they can’t be in your care. It’s a chance for social-emotional development and a great way for kids to explore the world around them. Contact us right now to learn more about our childcare programs!
Many parents have kids who suffer from children’s anxiety. Developing resilience is crucial during a child’s formative years, providing them with the coping skills they need to respond to stress and anxiety in a healthy way. Luckily, kids of all ages can build resilience over time. By changing the inner wiring of the brain through experience, children have the capability to shape their individual, intrinsic characteristics in a way that strengthens their resilience and reduces their anxiety.
Here are some of the ways kids can conquer stress and build resilience skills that they can use throughout their entire life.
Remember that kids can’t do it alone
Kids can’t learn how to build resilience alone. It takes at least one supportive relationship for kids to develop the coping skills they need to face fear and anxiety and truly thrive in life. The presence of a responsive, caring adult is crucial for dealing with difficult situations. In many cases, a caring relationship can even reverse some of the psychological effects that are activated by stress and fear.
If you can be there for your child, no matter what tough situations they’re going through, you ensure that their brain, body and even immune system are safe from the harmful effects of anxiety.
Provide open lines of communication
Kids need to know that they have someone they can trust to have their back during stressful situations. Many children have been taught to tough it out, but true strength means knowing when to ask for help. Maintain open communication, and let your child know that they’re always encouraged to ask for help, whether it’s from you, a teacher, a coach or even a neighbor.
Explore the benefits of exercise
Exercise is key for reducing children’s anxiety. It boosts neurochemical activity in their developing brains, helping them naturally calm their mind during stressful moments. Any type of exercise offers plenty of benefits for kids, but if you can make it fun, it’s even better. Every time you take your kid out for an afternoon of baseball, Frisbee, basketball or soccer, or when you simply take your dog for a walk, you’ll likely notice a boost in mood—not just for them but also for you.
Promote positivity and optimism
Modeling a positive mindset is another great way to set kids on a path toward resiliency. One thing resilient people have in common is optimism, and the brain can be rewired to be more optimistic through experiences in life. If you have a child who has a glass-half-empty way of thinking, try to show them another perspective without invalidating how they feel. Introduce them to a new way of thinking, and let them take it from there.
Building resilience is one of the best ways for kids to cope with stress and children’s anxiety. Get in touch with the staff at Kids Kingdom Early Learning Center to learn more about helping your child gain the important life skills and concepts that are necessary for healthy development and growth.
